The truth is going to hurt, and not everyone wants to hear the truth. I'm like that too, but how many alternatives am i left with? Sometimes it is only when we lost someone dear to us before we came to get a hold of how painful the process of letting go is, the misery that came dawning on. Its just barely 2 days yet it's killing me alive. My eye stings from crying all night long. Where the hell are you? I cant stand this excruciating pain, ohj please dont give up on me :'(

I've just been living each day without any real meaning in it. It's so bad that when I try to think of what I did yesterday, I take like 10 minutes to figure out the details of what I actually did, because my days are so monotone and boring and the same. Feels like forever since I really truly enjoyed myself :(

Dearest fatty pom pom

Happy 8th monthsary

I remembered reading your blog time and time again before we even got together. I wanted to know more about you so much that fate decided to bring us together then. Today, i visited your site again. This time it's different, cause i know every sweet detailed entry is typed to me instead. I start to come to terms that you do actually, love me alot. I'm really sorry for this month's insecurities that's been really fucked up. Just as you know, every month we pull through my fears of losing you gets stronger. So i hope you'd understand everything that happened this few days back weren't intentional. Despite all our bickering, fightings i still love you the same. Quarreling does play a big part in us know if it wouldn't for those times we might have taken each other for granted. I never regret having you nor loving you once at all cause you are the best damn thing that ever happened to me. My only biggest regret was making you upset. Darling, it didn't make me feel good a single bit when you were upset. In fact my heart was aching so badly when you cried the other time upon reading h2h. I might act all cold and ignorant. But deep down y'know what's exactly going through my mind? I felt like a total fucking loser for making you sad. How the hell would i ever thought of erasing you off my life.....there's just too much to forget. I am the luckiest bitch to have you. I had the time of my life with you, you gave me the happiest moments i ever had in life. The moments i'd never forget. The memories most memorable. I couldn't believed we made it through these 8months, i thought we never could. Thanks for showering and showing me what love actually was. It is meant to be me and you. Kekezzz. I love you always. All ways ;)

Hi living organisms i'm back :)

Sorry for i haven't been blogging for the longest time ever. I realise i always stop posting after awhile maybe it's because my blog is so dull and boring to stay for long. Anyhow i shall revamp this site soon i promise. I know you guys wanna read about my life, see tons of pictures everything and all but i'm really lazy to plus you all should know blogging is not my everything so i hope you'd understand and make do with my short and nonsensical entries. I’ll try to give a proper one for our 7th and zoo trip during the weekends ok?

By the way if you've been following me on twitter you'd already know what i have been doing these past months. Etc i'm not studying anymore, desperately need to get a job, bought couple rings, been to zoo for 7th monthsary, been cuddling and smooching my girlfriend everyday, ranting about gayboii93, constipating at 6pm yada yada yada and the list goes on. All about me myself and I leh so stalkers whom are really that enthu about me can refresh http://twitter.com/gamefor2 every few seconds kthxbye

:(

Boy: Baby, we need to talk.
Girl: Ricardo, what do you mean?
Boy: Something has come up...
Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad?
Boy: I don't want to hurt you, baby.
Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesn't break up with me... I love him so much.
Boy: Baby, are you there?
Girl: Yeah, I'm here. What is so important?
Boy: I'm not sure if I should say it..
Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: I'm leaving..
Girl: Baby, what are you talking about? I don't want you to leave me, I love you.
Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm moving far away.
Girl: Why? All of your family lives over here.

Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.

Girl: I can't believe this.
Father: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously) ERICA! What did I tell you about talking to boys?! Get off the damn phone! (And hangs up)
Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.
Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I don't want you to go.
Boy: Would you run away with me?
Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I can't... You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!
Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I understand, I guess..
Girl: *Thinking* I can't believe what's going on.
Boy: I need to give you something tonight, because I am leaving on flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.
Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park.
Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes.
(They meet at a nearby park, they both hug each other. And he gives her a note.)
Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.
Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)
Boy: Baby, don't cry, you know I love you... But I have to go.
Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.)
(They both go back home. And Erica begins to read the letter he gave her)
It says...
"Erica,
You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my bitch and don't you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you. Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the right thing, and you were never there. I didn't think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch... Goodbye.
- Ricardo"
( Erica begins to cry, she throws the paper in the garbage & cries for hours. )
... A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely... Then she gets a phone call....
Friend: How are you feeling?
Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me.
Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something...
Girl: Umm.. okay.
(She finds a piece of paper in the jacket.)
It says:
"Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words...
Hate = Love
Never = Always
Bitch = Baby
Will not = will
.... I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted you to run away with me... -Ricardo"
Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter.. Ricardo does love me! He must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am!
( Erica turns the TV on. )
[Breaking news]
"An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors... This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it was on its way to an all boys boarding school..." the Reporter says.
( She turns off the t.v. ... 3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Ricardo was dead & she had nothing to live for... )
... A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a message. "Its Ricardo, I guess you're not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive, I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I hope your not worried. I am staying for good.

I don't like seeing you lying in the ward whining about how painful the drip is, what's worst is that I can't do anything at all, just stand there and watch. Not only that, I feel the pain and think about when all these weren't happening at first. My heart aches at the sight of all this. My stomach churns the whole time when I'm with you at the hospital. It felt like a bullet just went through my heart without a warning. This is how bad i felt, you know that? Fret not I won't let it happen again, ever ever again...

Because this just means that I'M GONNA CONTROL YOUR DIET :) :) :)

Many a time, I convinced myself that i could do without you, live my days without you when we're on a verge of giving up everything.. It's difficult and heart wrenching because deep within me i knew it was just a comforting lie. Remember the last time we broke off cause of some stupid reason and I stupidly took a box of Panadol. You stood firmly by me, though i told you to go away. You took care of me that night, the whole entire night and forgo work even when we're not together at that point of time. And the very next day both of us cried so bad together like some dumped child, rmb? I never knew it could hurt you so much. From then, i've learnt how to cherish and treasurely treasure you like a gem and be obedient. Cause it's well defined a right route to a genuine love and chances like this doesn't comes by that easily. Anger... tears...laughter.. It's when you want to be together despite it all, that's when you truly love another. We gone through it all, shared 'em all... So I'm sure, I, really, really love you. And I'll always will, all ways. Darling sorry for the sucky times i've been, you know i don't mean it.

HAPPY (BELATED) 5th QT PIE <3